July 31--All in One, One in All

We are all collectively bonded to each other while
on Earth, united in this one supreme purpose: to
learn to love one another.

Betty Eadie

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Unity is such a frightening word for some of us.  And Betty throws another frightening concept our way:  that of loving one another, even those whom we consider to be "unlovable."  But the simple truth is that our lives are tied together in many, many ways, and the only way that we'll ever get humanity to reach its wonderful potential will be to develop the love that we show each other--not just feel for each other, but actually demonstrate and allow to affect our actions.

Most of us feel innately that there has to be a reason for us to be on this planet, an underlying purpose.  If that purpose is to love one another, then I think that all in all, the job that we're doing isn't all that great--maybe a two or a three on a scale of ten.  That isn't necessarily our fault, of course--after all, who among us grew up being taught that our main purpose in life is to love the other human beings and living things on this planet?--yet it is something that we can, at any time, make our highest priority.

The illusion of separateness that we live under, though, keeps us from seeing the bonds that connect us with others.  It's simple to love our siblings, for we often grew up together in the same house, in the same family.  But that guy across the street--I'm not connected to him in the same way.  How can I possible show him the same love that I show my brother and sister and daughter and father?  It's an important question to keep in mind, for the simple fact is that the person across the street has been living on the same planet as you for a very long time, and has been affected by many of the same things that have affected you--most of us have much more in common than we realize, or ever take the time and make the effort to find out.

You and I have a bond.  We both have a bond with the woman at the checkout counter in the tiny supermarket in central Kansas, and the waiter in the large restaurant in New Delhi.  We don't need to know the source of that connection to be able to love those people who are in our lives, because the chances are that those people are in our lives for a reason, and if we never show our love and caring, there's a very good chance that we'll never find out just what that reason is.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why do most of us shy from the idea of showing love to "strangers"?

What are some of the bonds that keep us connected to our fellow human beings who are here on this planet?  What about our bonds with the plants and animals?  (Think about oxygen, for example!)

How might we safely show love to others without putting ourselves at unnecessary or undue risk?

* * * * *

For further thought:

A human being is a part of the whole, called by us "Universe," a part limited in time and space.  We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical illusion of our consciousness.  This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.  Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.  Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and foundation for inner security.

Albert Einstein

more thoughts and ideas on oneness

July 30--All Love Is Unconditional

Few perfectionists can tell the difference between love and approval.  Perfectionism is so widespread in this culture that we actually have had to invent another word for love.  "Unconditional love," we say.  Yet, all love is unconditional.  Anything else is just approval.

Rachel Naomi Remen

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Thank you, Rachel, for saying something that needs to be said, again and again and again.  All true love is unconditional.  Anything else is not love, but needs to have another name.  "Unconditional love"?  What can that possibly be?  Can we actually qualify love?  And if we do, are we doing so accurately?  Love, we know is simply love, and the idea of giving it any other name seems more like an effort for us to justify not loving some people while loving others.

Her focus on perfectionism in relation to love is interesting.  Perfectionism is a disorder that makes people so tied to outcomes that they have to try to control all of the processes that lead to the outcomes.  In relationships, a perfectionist will try to get the other person to do things in certain ways, to talk in certain ways, to act in certain ways.  And the message that the perfectionist sends is, "I'll love you as long as you do things right."  In other words, "As long as I approve of all that you do, we'll be okay."

Looking at life this way can keep us from getting all that we can out of our experiences here.  Expecting people to be certain things and to act in certain ways keeps us from getting to know those people as they are, as opposed to how we want them to be.  And if someone we love wants us to be certain ways, and rejects us if we don't live up to those expectations, then we have to realize that that person was willing to share approval, but not necessarily love.

I don't want to give approval dressed up as love.  I want to share love with my fellow human beings.  And while approval can do a lot for some people in some situations, it certainly is no substitute for love.  And the term "unconditional love" really doesn't make sense when we think about it, does it?

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

What to you is the difference between "love" and "unconditional love"?

Why might we have stopped sharing unconditional love with the other human beings who are part of our lives?

What are some of the main characteristics of perfectionists?  Do any of those characteristics fit you?

* * * * *

For further thought:

The beginning of love is to let those we love
be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them
to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only
the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

Thomas Merton

more thoughts and ideas on love

more on perfectionism

July 29--The Power of Patience

Patience is never wasted; patience is a process through which a soul passes and
becomes precious.  Souls who have risen above the world's limitations and sorrows,
the world's falseness and deception, they are the souls who have passed through patience.

Hazrat Inayat Khan

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

I would love to be a patient person.  It's not that I'm an impatient person at all--I'm less impatient than almost anyone I know in most things.  But when I see truly patient people at work, I know that I have an awfully long way to go if I'm ever to consider myself to be truly patient.

In my experience, I may be going about trying to develop patience in the wrong way.  I've always considered it an issue of personality, but if Hazrat Inayat Khan is right, then it's much more of a spiritual matter, and I've been trying to develop it in the wrong area of my life.  To me, it's been a question of intellect and logic, trying to tell myself when to be patient, how to react to people and their actions and words, but he puts it firmly in the realm of spirit.  And now that I think about it, most of the truly patient people I know have been very spiritual people as well--not necessarily religious, but deeply spiritual.

Perhaps what I need to do is to let my spirit take over in matters that demand patience.  Perhaps I can ask myself, "what would I do in this situation if my eternal spirit were fully in charge instead of my intellect?"  I have a feeling that the answers I'll get will be somewhat different than those I can come up with just using my limited ability to reason.

We tend not to let our spiritual sides make decisions for us.  We tend to think that if we're actually hearing what our spirits are telling us to do, there's something wrong with us.  But many traditions have greatly valued that "still, strong voice within" that can help us to make decisions in ways that will be good for everyone, and that can help us to be in touch with the eternal spiritual element of our being that is actually the very core of who we are.  A life spent as a spiritual being can actually be a life that contributes greatly to the world in ways much different than those that result from reason and logic.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why do most of us trust our logic and reason over our spirits?

How might we start to allow our spirits to play a greater role in all that we do in our lives?

How might you recognize when your spirit is leading you to a certain action versus your reason leading you there?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Patience is power.  Patience is not an absence of
action; rather, it is "timing"; it waits on the right time
to act, for the right principles and in the right way.

Fulton J. Sheen




morethoughts and ideas on patience

July 28--Our Connection with Nature

If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing
up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature
have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive.

Eleonora Duse

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Our connection with nature is a precarious one these days, at best.  In many ways, it seems that most of us spend so little time even noticing nature that we simply can't forge any sort of connection with it.  And those of us who live in cities often tend to forget all about it except when we happen to walk through a park or take a week or two of vacation in a nice spot.

For most people, this isn't even an issue.  Most people are fine with the situation as it stands, and they don't consider it to be a problem.  But part of the reason they feel this way is because it's a connection that they've never felt the benefit of, something that they can't miss because they've never felt it.  But as Eleonora says, the presence of this connection is an indication of the state of our spirits:  the more we pull ourselves away from the natural elements of our world, the less fully we're living as human beings.

Life, of course, is about unity, and about the connection between all things.  When we know that connection and we feel it, then we're able to recognize and appreciate the messages that nature sends us, the messages about the fleetingness of our experiences, about the inevitable cycles that all life passes through, about the effects of nurture and neglect, drought and plenty.  And these messages can bring us joy--if we allow them to do so--when we notice them and appreciate them.  When the crisp autumn air can bring a thrill just for being alive, when the early snowfall can make us feel the sublime astonishment of the beauty of our world, then we know that we have that connection.

And if we don't feel this connection, it would do us a great deal of good to work at forging it, strengthening it, and sharing it.  We can't always expect such a connection to just happen.  It takes some effort on our part--not a lot of hard work, but definitely some effort and recognizing and appreciating the interconnectedness of life and all of the parts of life that are present with us on our planet.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How do many of us lose the ability to be awed and amazed at the natural world?

What do you most appreciate about the "simple things of nature"?

What does it mean to you to have a soul that's alive?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Those who understand nature walk with God.

Edgar Cayce




more thoughts and ideas on nature

July 27--Embracing Uncertainty

Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life.  Don't
let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at
bay and spark creativity.

R.I. Fitzhenry

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Some of the most dynamic people I've ever met have been people who embrace uncertainty, who are willing to put themselves in situations in which they have no idea at all about the outcomes.  Most of us fear uncertainty, because we want to feel that we have a bit of control over our lives, but others thrive on it because they want to allow life to contribute to their existence, and they don't want to just keep doing the same old, same old, just for the sake of knowing the outcomes already.

If we spend our lives doing only those things about which we're sure of the outcomes, then where do concepts such as spontaneity and risk come in?  Is it really possible to be completely in control of outcomes?  We may walk the same path each evening and never explore other paths because we don't know what lies down them, but if we do so, just what will we learn and how will we grow?

Jobs, relationships, places to live, results of actions, sharing our thoughts and emotions, educational programs, investments--all of these and so much more are filled with uncertainty.  But they're what life is about.

Sometimes life gives us signs that it wants us to move on to something new.  The workload becomes harsher, but the pay doesn't rise accordingly.  The weather keeps us sick constantly, while better weather elsewhere could allow us to live healthier lives.  You're passed up for a promotion that you know you deserve because the job was given to the boss's daughter or son.  Such situations often call for a leap into the unknown, but our response to such situations is often to just bear with it because we're unsure of how things will turn out if we take a risk.

Taking uncertainty on, though, does keep us vital and creative.  When things become difficult, we have to think of new ways to cope with problems and issues.  The mysteries of life give us a vitality that doing the same things over and over again never can give us.  Mystery and uncertainty are important catalysts, inspirational elements of life, and it's up to us to search them out and take them on, if we're to make the most of these lives that we've been given.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

What are some of the elements of mystery and uncertainty that cause us to be intimidated by them?

What kinds of signs show us clearly that it might be time for us to take on uncertainty head-on?

What are some of the attractive thoughts that keep us from heading into uncertain situations?

* * * * *

For further thought:

I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing.  I think it is much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers that might be wrong.  If we will only allow that, as we progress, we remain unsure, we will leave opportunities for alternatives.  We will not become enthusiastic for the fact, the knowledge, the absolute truth of the day, but remain always uncertain.  In order to make progress, one must leave the door to the unknown ajar.

Richard P. Feynman





more thoughts and ideas on mystery

July 26--The Importance of Learning How to Think

The aim of education should be to teach us rather how to think, than what to think--rather to improve our minds, so as to enable us to think for ourselves, than to load the memory with thoughts of other people.

Bill Beattie

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Why do we learn?  It seems that in the eyes of many politicians and policy-makers, we learn in order to perform on tests and to know the same things that everyone else learns.  The current thought seems to be that we all should focus on learning information rather than process, on learning by rote rather than learning to be creative and expressive.  We should learn to consume rather than create, it seems, and these focal points are definitely showing up in our culture, where fewer people are able to understand what's going on in our society and more likely to be addicted to TV shows and video games.

But if our public education systems aren't focusing on teaching the skills and abilities that will help us to reach our potential and grow as people, then what do we do?  We can't change the systems, can we?  More than likely we can't, especially on a broad level.  But we can change what we want to get out of our education-- what we personally want to become through the education that we receive, and what we want our children to become.

We can affect our own education on any level by asking the right questions, by paying attention to what's being taught and questioning it.  We need to ask "why" more and "what" less.  We need to truly listen to the things being taught to us, and if we don't understand it completely, ask for clarification on the points that we've missed.

Most teachers yearn for students who will show enough initiative to think critically about the material that's being presented to them, and most welcome well-considered questions.  Our educations are up to us, no matter what's being taught or how it's being taught.  And if we run up against inflexibility, then we need to consider why someone is being inflexible--and then we can learn about the teacher and his or her methods and issues.

Thoughts of other people can be very valuable, but they should act as a catalyst to spark our own thoughts.  If we learn them only to present them later as our own thoughts, then we haven't learned anything at all--we've simply attained a certain level of knowledge that won't truly help us at all in the lives that we're living.  Take charge of what you learn and how you learn it, and you'll find that you grow much, much more than the educational systems are designed to help you grow.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

What's the difference between learning information and learning to think more effectively?

How can we affect what we learn and how we learn it in positive ways?

Why do educational systems tend to be rather rigid when it comes to what they teach and how they teach it?

* * * * *

For further thought:
We provide an education in specialization.  We produce clones for the modern world.  We throw people into a mold, which we call an education system, to form cogs for the global economic wheel, all the time dangling the golden carrot before them as incentive and reason.  Truth be told, our modern education systems crush the very spirit they claim to instill.
Matthew Kelly



more thoughts and ideas on education

July 25--Possessions and Freedom

It is the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything
else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly.

Bertrand Russell

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Why are we so often preoccupied with possessing things?  Why are we so often focused on getting and spending, accumulating and hoarding?  In my life, my preoccupation with possessions has had much to do with my need for security, with my fear that I wouldn't be able to get things later for some reason.  So at times I've accumulated, only to find later that I've had too much and I've needed to get rid of much of the stuff that I've spent so much time and effort accumulating.

Wordsworth wrote that "getting and spending, we lay waste our powers," and I think that Bertrand would agree with him.  If we're preoccupied with getting more and more things, if our major focus is on what to buy and how to afford it and when to get it, then there are many other aspects of our lives that are being neglected, aspects such as giving and sharing and enjoying and learning.  There are so many other ways that we can spend our time and energy in more positive ways, yet our consumer-driven society keeps us thinking that the most important thing that we can do in life is to continue to add to our possessions.

But if we want to live freely and nobly, it's very important that we focus on things that are noble, on things that don't enslave us as our possessions so often do.

If we can learn to live with possessions without worrying whether we lose them or not, if we can enjoy them without being preoccupied with them, without allowing our identities to be wrapped up in them, then possessions can be a great addition to our lives.  But if they prevent us from living freer and fuller lives, then we really do have to re-examine our relationship with them, and to try to stop allowing them to overwhelm us and become preoccupations.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How would you define a "preoccupation with possessions"?

How might we move away from placing importance on possessions, and towards attaching less importance on them?

What to you entails living "freely and nobly"?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Remember, what you possess in the world will be found
at the day of your death to belong to someone else,
but what you are will be yours forever.

Henry van Dyke





more thoughts and ideas on possessions

July 24--Simpler, Easier

Often one of the stumbling blocks to living a simpler life is our inability or
unwillingness to change how we play some of the games that got us into
these complicated lives in the first place.

Elaine St. James

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

It's kind of hard to think of all that we do as games, but in a way, almost everything that we do is at some level similar to games.  Games have rules, games have goals, games have actions and activities.  There are rules involved in getting and doing jobs, in belonging to communities, in starting and maintaining relationships and families.  The rules are different for each person, of course, but we do follow the rules that are unique to us.

The question comes up, though, concerning where we learned the rules that we follow, and whether those rules help us or sabotage our efforts to lead our lives fully.  Sometimes we learn rules from people who aren't at all happy or fulfilled themselves, so how can we expect those rules to have different results for us?  Many people follow rules that complicate their lives to no end--saying yes to every request for their time, deciding to do too much work and spend little time with their families, taking on extra tasks in addition to their main ones.

How we came to be where we are, though, is pretty much irrelevant.  What matters most is how we get from where we are to where we want to be, and sometimes that means examining the rules that we follow and figuring out if they're helping us or not.  And if they aren't, then we need to learn how to play the games differently if we want different results.  Perhaps one course a session is better when we're working full time than three; perhaps deciding to take a rest will help our work more than an extra day of working.

People who complicate their lives by spending too much need to change their spending habits if they want to simplify.  Sometimes such a change is terribly difficult, but absolutely necessary if we want our lives to be simpler and more manageable.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

In what ways has your life become complicated?  How did those things happen or come to be?

What part of playing the game is most difficult for you?  How is it difficult for you to change the way you play?

List five of the "games" that you play regularly; do they complicate your life, or help you to simplify it?

* * * * *

For further thought:

People must be able to. . . .  simplify their
duties, their business, and their lives.
Henri Frederic Amiel




more thoughts and ideas on simplicity

July 23--The Illusion of Safety

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children
of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than
outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

Helen Keller

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

I know many, many people who make "security" their highest priority.  In fact, as a culture we've even made it one of our strongest cultural values.  Many people want to set up a life and lifestyle that will be "perfect" for their kids--no changes of schools, no moves, no changes of jobs--for their entire childhoods.  For the people who succeed in doing this, their children often leave home to find life overwhelming, for they find that the "security" that their parents so carefully crafted for them truly is a myth, and that the real world often demands us to make changes quickly and forcefully, and not at all gently.

Some parents don't allow their kids to take chances, to do many of the things that kids must do if they're to learn many of the dynamics of real life.  I know that in my life, I've been blessed by having to take risks and make changes regularly, and I'm fortunate that changes that come about now are never overwhelming.  I also had the foresight of joining the military for a four-year stint while I was younger, and that experience also has helped me to keep in mind that there really is no security, and that life will throw changes my way.  What's important is how I react to those changes.

I remember being told over and over again at one particular job that with my degrees and experience and the amount of work I was doing, there was no way that I would be let go.  I always reminded people that those exact factors were what made me more expensive than a teacher straight out of college--and I was among the first let go so that the school could hire teachers who would cost the district less money.

We've seen how the lack of economic security plays out in the last decade or so.  How many people lost their jobs and had to re-establish or re-define themselves?  The security that they thought was there didn't abandon them--it simply wasn't there to begin with.

Acknowledging a lack of security isn't fatalism or pessimism--it's a realistic way of looking at the world that keeps us aware that things can change very, very quickly in many areas of our lives, and that perspective can help us to function well in situations that otherwise might overwhelm us.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

In which areas of our lives do we most desire security?  Does it really exist for us?

How might we be sabotaging ourselves if we spend much of our time and effort seeking security?

What do the words "life is a daring adventure, or nothing" mean to you?

* * * * *

For further thought:

There's only one form of security we can attain during our
lives.  It's inner security--the kind that comes from courage,
experience, and the ability and the willingness to learn,
to grow, to attempt the unknown.  Security isn't what the
wise person looks for; it's opportunity.  And once
we begin looking for that, we find it on every side.
You can measure opportunity with the same yardstick that
measures the risk involved.  They go together.

Earl Nightingale




more thoughts and ideas on safety

July 22--Caring for Others

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a
listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which
have the potential to turn a life around.

Leo Buscaglia

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

It's true--we do underestimate the power of these things.  I'm not sure why.  Perhaps we just think that people don't really need our input in their lives, or maybe we're just used to people not encouraging us or sharing kind words or compliments with us.  In my case, when I was younger I never thought that my words to others had the power to affect them at all, for positive or negative; as I've aged, though, I've learned that almost everything I say has some effect, somehow, and not always how I'd like.

While we certainly don't want to overestimate the power of things like these--we're not going to solve anyone's problems with a listening ear, or completely turn their lives around with a smile--we should always keep in mind that the things that turn people's lives around generally are a bunch of things together, and our smile or compliment will be a part of a greater whole, a whole that gives someone hope or peace, and that would be incomplete without our contribution.

With my students, sometimes I find out years later that some small compliment I gave them was important to them, though I never would have guessed it.  So I've given up guessing, and whenever I might have any doubt, I give the compliment or the kind word anyway--it's better to err on the side of the positive than the negative.

Leo Buscaglia spent much of his life teaching us about the power of loving one another, and he told us many beautiful stories about love and loving.  Here he tells us that we do have power to help others, to make them feel good about life and living.  And if we do have that kind of power in our hands, shouldn't we use it more?

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

What kinds of things might you contribute today that might help to turn around the life of someone else?

Why is it so easy to feel that our words don't mean much to others?

How many opportunities do we have each day to make this sort of contribution to others?  How many of those opportunities do we actually take advantage of?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Our workaday lives are filled with opportunities to bless others.  The power
of a single glance or an encouraging smile must never be underestimated. 

G. Richard Rieger




more thoughts and ideas on caring

July 21--Love to Share

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.

Marianne Williamson

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Marianne's words resonate with me because I do know people who claim that all of their problems in life come from the way their parents treated them as kids, and that they're really not responsible for things going wrong in their lives now.  But when you step back and look at the way that these people are living their lives, you see people who are completely self-absorbed, seemingly unable or unwilling to make changes in their lives that will help them to lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

And being self-absorbed keeps them from giving love to others.  Being so focused on themselves seems to be a result of fear and the ego working together, telling them that they can't give or they'll get hurt, tricking them cruelly because the fact that they don't give love to others is hurting them more deeply than any other person could possibly hurt them if they did take the risk and extend their love to others on a regular basis.

Extending our love can be a result of an act as simple as sharing a smile with someone who seems to need to see a sincere smile.  It can be shown in acts such as encouragement, moral support, compliments, or even silence if we're just there for someone who needs someone to listen or to be there with them in times of grief or loss.  In all of these cases, though, we are focused on someone outside of ourselves, someone else, and not on our own problems or tribulations.  We're aware of the needs of others and we're showing compassion, and we're giving from our hearts, not from our pocketbooks (though sometimes we can show our love that way, too).

We may think that by not extending our love, we're protecting ourselves from hurt and pain, but the truth is that by not extending our loves, we're holding ourselves back, we're keeping ourselves down, for we're not allowing ourselves to grow and to give, to feel and to share.  Instead of being butterflies who are leaving our cocoons to become something beautiful and graceful, we're keeping ourselves locked in without any possibility of becoming more than we currently are.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How can we be holding ourselves back if we're not extending love to others on a regular basis?

What are some ways in which we can extend our love out into the world where it belongs?

Why do so many people find it difficult to extend their own love to others?

* * * * *

For further thought:

This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love:  the more they give, the more they possess of that precious nourishing love from which flowers and children have their strength and which could help all human beings if they would take it without doubting.

Rainer Maria Rilke




more thoughts and ideas on love

July 20--Things Turn Out as They Should

Perhaps the hardest lesson to learn is not to be attached
to the results of your actions.

Joan Borysenko

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Results.  Most of us live in results-oriented cultures, which means that we're judged very often on what comes out of our work, and not necessarily on the work itself.  Because of this, many of us have become fixated on results--results of our work, results of our interactions with others, results of our advice, you name it.  We want things to turn out the way that we intended them to turn out, with no room for ambiguity or contradiction.

Have you ever seen anyone give someone else money as a gift, and then get upset when that money was used for something they didn't see as valuable, or more specifically, not on what the giver thought it should be spent on?  Have you ever watched someone get bent out of shape because the recipient of his or her kindness didn't thank them enough, or didn't show their appreciation enough?  Have you ever felt extremely frustrated because your garden or your painting or your garage wasn't turning out how you envisioned it would turn out?

As a teacher, one of the most important things that I've learned in my life is to let go of results.  While I see my students improve in my classes, I know that the vast majority of what they learn from me won't show up until later, after they've been able to process the information and the processes, after they've had a lot more practice with the principles and concepts of writing.  I've learned to do what I do and then walk away from it without being concerned at all with how things turn out, except to make sure that my help won't be needed in some other way.  If I help someone out, I don't expect thanks at all--and if I get them, I see them as a nice bonus.

If you give me ten dollars, don't tell me how I should spend it.  Because if you do, and I spend it in another way, then both of us will be stressed out because I haven't met your expectations.  And that would be a shame.

Plant some trees that you'll never see grow up.  Perform kind acts so that people never will know who did them.  Give your help, but don't expect thanks.  Then you'll start knowing the true joy of giving--the joy that isn't tied to results.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why do we feel that results are so important?  Are they really?

How might you practice the art of letting go of your need to see results?

Which results are most important for you to have come out just as you want them to come out?  How often do they come out that way?  What would happen if they came out in other ways?

* * * * *

For further thought:

One has made at least a start on discovering the
meaning of human life when one plants shade trees
under which one knows full well one will never sit.

Elton Trueblood

More thoughts and ideas about letting go

July 19--Actions Speak More Loudly

What we think or what we know or what we believe is in the end of
little consequence. The only thing of consequence is what we do.

John Ruskin

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Our actions really are the bottom line of our lives.  We can sit and ponder the meaning of existence for days or weeks or years, but if we don't do anything positive with our lives, then what can the meanings of our lives possibly be?  It's very easy to get caught up in thoughts and ideas, but while in the end these can help us to make decisions to act, they really don't make any contributions of their own.

I know people who live almost completely in their thoughts.  Often they'll spend plenty of time thinking about things that are wrong with the world, and they may even come up with some great ideas about how to deal with some of those problems, but they'll never take any actions on those ideas.  They may think of a wonderful invention or product that would help many people, but they don't do anything that would make it a reality.  And when someone else creates something similar to what they thought of, they're often upset because they "thought of it first."

We may think that the new tax in our state is unfair, but if we don't act to change it, the thoughts really mean nothing in the long run.  We may believe that it's important to help our fellow human beings, but until we take the steps to actually do so, those beliefs don't help anyone at all.  We may have thought of great ways to improve conditions at work or to improve productivity, but if those thoughts never leave our minds and turn into action, then guess what?

It's great to think.  It's great to ponder life and living and the meaning of life.  It's wonderful to let our minds ruminate on thoughts and ideas that really do need to be thought, when all is said and done.  But there are points at which the mental work does need to become action, at which we need to take things from the theoretical to the practical.  Those are the points that in the end, when we're looking back at our lives, we will have begun to make a difference and to define ourselves.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

When are the most important times for thinking in your life?

How might you turn some of your most important thoughts and ideas into actions that will benefit many more people than your thoughts can?

Why do so many people get trapped in cycles that keep them from putting their thoughts and ideas into action?  What keeps us from doing so?

* * * * *

For further thought:

The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something.  It's as simple as that.  A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now.  Not tomorrow. Not next week.  But today.  The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer.

Nolan Bushnell



More thoughts and ideas about action

July 18--Focusing on the Others

The central purpose of each life should be to dilute the
misery in the world.

Karl Menninger

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

There is obviously a lot of misery in this world, but the good news is that there are many, many people who are willing and able to lessen its intensity, to help people through it, to take away its strength.  Diluting the misery of the world isn't a question of trying to wipe out misery, for such a task never would be possible, but more a question of doing things for others that help them to see and feel hope, and to understand the meaning of compassion.

Misery seems to be a trait of humanity.  Sometimes it occurs on huge scales in places where there is drought or famine, and sometimes it happens on much smaller scales, in run-down neighborhoods or in families where abuse takes place.  Misery tends to keep people from feeling hope, and it tends to keep them thinking that the status quo is the only way that things can be.  But how do we as individuals have any power at all to help to dilute its power?

Only by giving of ourselves or our talents or our time.  If we live in cities, it's certain that there are people around us living in misery.  Help is needed at food banks and counseling centers and other places that serve the destitute.  We don't even need to go to these places if the times don't work in our schedules--taking the time to help to publicize the need could accomplish more than serving a breakfast sometimes.  Improving our performance at work may have an extremely strong effect on someone, somewhere, that we'll never know about.

If we do work at diluting the misery in this world, it's important that we give up our need to see results, for such a need more than likely will lead to frustration and possible keep us from giving more.  What's important is that we do find things that can help others, and that we do make that contribution, no matter how small or insignificant it may feel when we do so.  For then we're contributing to our larger purpose in life, and fulfilling our purpose always should be what we seek to do while we're here.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

In which ways might you help to dilute the misery in the world, in your own special ways?

What benefits will there be for you if you do things to help other people through hard times?

What would happen to the people of this world if we stopped helping each other?

* * * * *

For further thought:

To desire and strive to be of some service to the world,
to aim at doing something which shall really increase the
happiness and welfare and virtue of humankind--this
is a choice which is possible for all of us; and surely
it is a good haven to sail for.

Henry Van Dyke




More thoughts and ideas on service

July 17--What Do You Call Success?

Possessions, outward success, publicity, luxury--to me these have
always been contemptible.  I assume that a simple and unassuming manner
of life is best for everyone, best for both the body and the mind.

Albert Einstein

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

"Contemptible" is a very strong word, of course, but it does make sense here.  Albert Einstein could have had all the fame and fortune that he could have desired, but he chose instead to lead a more simple life.  He was in the limelight very often, but that wasn't important to him.  To him, life was important, but the things that society told him should be important to him weren't.  The more fame one has, the more stress one has and the more expectations one has to live up to.  Therefore, we can lessen our stress by keeping our desires for outcomes simple:  a nice place to live, decent clothes to wear, good friendships, ways to serve.  These simple things can add up to a very positive life.

But unfortunately, these days leading a simple life means that we have to reject many of the expectations of our peers and colleagues and our culture.  Leading a life in a simple and unassuming manner means not doing many of the things that others may expect from us, which leads to the stress of feeling that we're disappointing people.

Should we be searching for a way of living that is best for us in both body and mind?  Should we be seeking to be successful by becoming happy rather than by becoming wealthy or powerful?  Should we gauge our success in life by the number of people we've helped, or by the amount of things that we've gotten from other people, through any means possible?

There's nothing inherently wrong with success or material gain.  But when they rob us of our simple tastes and our ability to be satisfied simply, they can keep us at an uncomfortable distance from our happiness and contentment.  Personally, I'm with Albert, and I hope always to find satisfaction from the simple things in life instead of trying to gain things like material success that may or may not make me a happier human being.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

What do you consider to be a "simple and unassuming manner of life"?

In what ways might you reinforce your own ability to find satisfaction in the simple things of life?

Why do you think Albert Einstein might have found such things as possessions and luxury to be contemptible?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Most people see success as being rich and famous or powerful and influential.  Others see it as being at the top of their profession and standing out from the rest.  The wise see success in a more personal way; they see it as achieving the goals they have set for themselves, and then feeling pride and satisfaction in their accomplishments.  True success is felt in the heart, not measured by money and power.
   So be true to yourself and achieve those goals you set.  For success is reaching those goals and feeling proud of what you have accomplished.

Tim Tweedie

More thoughts and ideas on success and simplicity

July 16--Our Need for Silence

Silence is the great teacher and to learn its lessons you must pay attention to it.
There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge,  and stability
that come from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence.

Deepak Chopra

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

"Silence is golden," says the old refrain, and there are few things as true as that statement.  The value in silence, though, I believe is more important than gold, more important than anything material that we can devise.  The moments of true silence in my life are incredible, and they allow me to relax fully and feel the peace that really should be possible even in the times when we're in hectic and stressful situations.  Silence is a wonderful reminder of just what can be--if we allow it to be so.

Unfortunately, it seems that many people are afraid of silence.  There are people who turn on the stereo or the TV as soon as they walk into a room.  They fill every silent moment with friends or loved ones with speech.  They never allow silence to work its magic, so they go on and on without even realizing just how amazing the magic of silence can be.

When we allow ourselves to be immersed in silence, only then can we turn inward fully; only then can we pay attention to the deeper, more creative parts of ourselves.  The silent moments and times are those that are full of things other than noise.  Silence allows us to take a deep breath and slow down our thinking, to quiet our minds.  Silence reminds us of the deeper parts of ourselves that we tend to push aside in our constant pursuit of accomplishment and achievement.  Silence is the easiest place for us to connect with our spirits.

Your core of inner silence is a place of peace and acceptance and awareness.  It's also a place that your ego would prefer that you not find, for when you are able to access it regularly, your ego becomes much less necessary in your life.  You already are incredibly creative and knowledgeable, and stable; these things are found, though, in the silence that we so rarely allow to be a strong part of our lives.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

What kinds of benefits can you see in accessing the silence inside of yourself?

Why is silence not one of the more dominant aspects of most of our lives?

How, specifically, might you create conditions that will allow you to experience your own core of inner silence?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Take time to be quiet.  This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours.  We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us.  The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within.  It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams!  Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week.  No other people.  No cell phone.  No computer.  Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts.

Jim Rohn




More thoughts and ideas on silence.

July 15--Take the Risk and Learn All You Can!

Go around asking a lot of damn fool questions and taking chances.  Only
through curiosity can we discover opportunities, and only by gambling
can we take advantage of them.

Clarence Birdseye

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

There are very few things that I know for sure, but one of them is this:  the students I work with who inquire, who ask questions, who take risks on their assignments, who don't want to know just the information but also why and how the information became known, are the ones who normally succeed in all they try.  They push themselves, and they push others to think harder in order to give answers.

The world is full of opportunities and possibilities that we never will learn about if we don't push the limits of our knowledge, take risks and ask questions of people who should be able to answer them.  Sometimes it's easy not to be curious:  it's less work not to open new doors and explore new areas.  But it also tends to be much less fulfilling to have such a passive approach to life, an approach that doesn't give us the chance to take advantage of much of anything at all.

The people at work who ask questions and learn more about their field than others tend to be those who get the promotions.  Those people at school who constantly inquire learn more than others, and their future classes tend to be much easier because of all that they've learned by pushing themselves.  And curiosity may be an inherited trait for some, but most of us need to develop it and work at making it work for us.  For most of us, it doesn't necessarily come naturally at all, and it takes quite a bit of effort.

Most of my rewarding moments in life have come through learning something new and different or accomplishing something that is beyond my previous limits.  I only achieve these things when I allow myself to tap into my curiosity and take the chance of exploring things that are new, different, and even quite scary.  But it's that scariness that lets me know that it's important.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How might you develop your own sense of curiosity about things that have become boring or ordinary?

What are some advantages to learning new and different things that others might not be learning?

What will happen to you if you never ask questions and never try to find out anything past the superficial answers?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Learning is not attained by chance.  It must be sought

for with ardor and attended to with diligence.

Abigail Adams




more thoughts and ideas on learning
more on risk

July 14--Right Here, Right Now

Not living in the present is a form of denial.  It's easier to live in the
past or future because then you don't have to be responsible for the present.

Jane Hendrix

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

The only way I was ever able to learn how to live in the present moment was to learn what it means to try to live in the past or future.  It's simply a matter of where our thoughts are.  Are they on the things that are a part of our reality at this moment, or are they on the insults from yesterday or the wonderful vacation last month?  Are they on the movie I'm going to see tomorrow or the trip I'll take three weeks from now?  While some thought to things like these can be important, too much time spent thinking about them can keep us from the joys and responsibilities of the right now.

I used to agonize over mistakes that I had made.  I would think about them for days, sure that someone was mad at me or disappointed with me.  I came to learn that while I was spending tons of mental energy on such thoughts about the past--and missing many pleasant moments in the present--other people had completely forgotten my mistakes, or hadn't even noticed them in the first place.

It's been widely said that the only moment we can possibly live in is the present moment.  If we try to live anywhere else in time, we're only remembering or hoping, but always about times over which we have absolutely no control.  As Jane says, this is a form of denial, but it's also a form of avoidance.  My actions at this moment shape my future, and if I avoid acting, I can blame my future on forces outside of myself.  But if we take responsibility for our own lives and fill this present moment with a focus on what we need to do and with giving and sharing and showing love, then moment by moment we're building a life that truly contributes to this world in which we live, and the other people and living things in it and on it.

It is easier to focus on the past or future; because it's impossible to act in either, it allows us to spend time without being compelled to act at all.  But if our actions are loving and giving, it's a tragedy to spend time without contributing those acts to our world.  What you do right now is very important to many, and it's a great thing if you can make your present full of positive, loving acts.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How many of your moments do you actually spend focused on the present moment?  How many do you spend focused on the past or future?

Why is it so easy to avoid being focused on the present moment?

What are some downfalls to avoiding a focus on the present?

* * * * *

For further thought:

There is only one time that is important--Now!  It is the most important time because it is the only time when we have any power.  The most necessary person is the one with whom you are, for no person knows whether he or she will ever have dealings with anyone else:  and the most important affair is, to do the person good, because for that purpose alone were human beings sent into this life!

Wayne Dyer



more thoughts and ideas on the present moment

July 13--We Decide What Our Attitude Will Be like

If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best
effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you
are ready for greater challenges.

Pat Riley

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Sometimes it seems impossible to convince my students that the main thing separating them from success in many areas of their lives is their own attitude.  One of the most consistent barriers that I see in them is the "I already know how to do this" attitude, which keeps them from being coached or from being taught something new and different.  Our best effort is important, but it's also important to be open to learning new ways to deal with old and immediate problems--after all, if they are problems, then our ways of dealing with them probably are a bit ineffective.

All we have to do to shift our attitude is make decisions.  All we have to do to strive to give our best effort is make decisions to do so.  I've been in situations that have been almost unbearable, to the point that I've had to adjust my own attitude in order to make them more bearable.  In the Army, for example, there were times when we were forced to stand around and do nothing for very long periods of time, which was incredibly boring.  Once I shifted my attitude, though, to accept the situation and to try to look for the best in it, it wasn't so bad.  I started looking at it as a chance to get to know the people who were with me, to learn about why they were in the Army, where they were from, what their families were like, and so on.  Instead of being bored and frustrated and annoyed, my attitude turned those times into very interesting ones.

Having and showing a positive attitude isn't something that comes normally or easily to many of us.  But we do always have a choice of how we see things and how we approach them, and that's what Pat is talking about when he mentions a positive attitude.  The best effort is also very important, and also something that makes a huge difference in our actual attitudes.  With these two attributes of who we are, there's very little that we can't do in this world of ours.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why do our attitudes tend so often not to be very positive?

What kinds of specific steps might we take to keep our attitudes positive?

Do you give your best effort to everything that you do?  What are some reasons for which you might not do so?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitude and expectations.  If we feel that our environment could stand some improvement, we can bring about that change for the better by improving our attitude.  The world plays no favorites.  It's impersonal.  It doesn't care who succeeds and who fails.  Nor does it care if we change.  Our attitude toward life doesn't affect the world and the people in it nearly as much as it affects us.

Earl Nightingale




more thought and ideas on attitude

July 12--The Touch of Nature

No life can be barren which hears the whisper of the wind in the branches,
or the voice of the sea as it breaks upon the shore; and no soul can lack
happiness looking up to the midnight stars.

William Winter

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

How can we hear the whisper of the wind in the branches if we're always in our cars or always have headphones on or earbuds in?  How can we hear the voice of the sea if we spend all our time in the house, playing video games or watching TV?  How can we look up to the midnight stars if we never take the time or make the effort to get outside when all is dark and the stars shine so brightly; or if we are outside, if we never even take the time to stop and look up at the sky?

The natural world gives of itself constantly--scenes more spectacular than any photo or painting, sounds that are more melodic and more impressive than any piece of music.  Unfortunately, as time goes on and on, we get less and less in touch with these things--we see and hear them less, we feel them less, we make them less and less a part of our lives.  But we can enrich our lives immediately by deciding just to pay attention to these things that already exist all about us.

Some of the most amazing moments that I've experienced on this planet have been spent standing on a beach, watching and listening to the waves break as they make their ways to shore.  The sounds of these moments have stayed with me always, and I love to remember them sometimes, closing my eyes and recalling the sounds and sights.  They've given me memories that most definitely do enrich my life, and I feel grateful that they've been a part of that life.  My happiness does come from inside, of course, but it's the decision to stop, watch, listen, pay attention to, and appreciate such things that give me that happiness.  If I choose to make things such as waves and wind and stars a part of my reality, then I choose to enrich my life.  Thus I shall never lead a barren life, and my days never shall be empty.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How often do you stop and pay attention to the things of nature that definitely could enrich your life on this planet?

What kinds of strategies could you use to make elements of nature a more integral part of your life?

Are there times when your life seems barren?  If so, why do you think you feel the emptiness?

* * * * *

For further thought:

If only we know, boss, what the stones and rain and flowers say.  Maybe
they call--call us--and we don't hear them.  When will people's ears open,
boss?  When shall we have our eyes open to see?  When shall we open
our arms to embrace everything--stones, rain, flowers, and people?  What
do you think about that, boss?  And what do your books have to say about that?

Nikos Kazantzakis



more thoughts and ideas on nature