October 31--Our Differences Can Be Our Assets

I didn't belong as a kid, and that always bothered me.  If only
I'd known that one day my differences would be an asset,
then my early life would have been much easier.

Bette Midler

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

I was kind of like Bette when I was a kid, always feeling that I didn't belong.  What I've come to learn since then, though, is that most of that lack of belonging came from me, from my own feelings of not belonging, and not necessarily because I really didn't belong.  I felt like I didn't belong, so I acted like I didn't belong.  And as long as I acted like that, how else were other people supposed to treat me?

Much of the way I felt came from the fact that my father was in the military and we moved around rather often.  That meant that I was often starting out in new schools where I didn't know anyone else.  That really didn't end up mattering, as I always made a friend or three to spend time with, but the fact was that even with them, I felt that I didn't belong, and that they were somehow doing me a favor by being my friends.  But again, those were my feelings, not the way that things were.

We don't realize as kids that having a couple of good friends is all that anyone can ask for, and once you have those, it doesn't really matter if you "fit in" with the social order as it stands.  So what if you don't "fit in" with those people who are always wearing the latest fashions, or who are smoking across the street or who are going hunting as soon as the season opens?  You are who you are, and one of the important tricks in life is to be with the people who accept you as you are and enjoy your company--and whose company you enjoy.

We all have differences, but many of us hide them so that we'll "fit in" with others.  Those differences, though, if we develop them and celebrate them, can help us to make something very special and very unique of our lives, so we shouldn't worry at all if we're not just like everyone else--we should be grateful that that's the case.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

What are some of the major differences inherent in who you are as a person?

Do you ever feel that you don't belong in some sort of setting?  Where do you think those feelings originate?

How might we help ourselves to realize that as human beings, we fully belong to communities of other human beings (except in those situations in which people make a purposeful effort to exclude others)?

* * * * *

For further thought:

The individual has always had to struggle to keep
from being overwhelmed by the tribe.  If you try it, you
will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened.  But no price
is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

Friedrich Nietzsche




More on individuality.

October 30--Gardens of Love and Compassion

If we make our goal to live a life of compassion and unconditional
love, then the world will indeed become a garden where all kinds
of flowers can bloom and grow.

Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

I think Elisabeth is talking about two different things in the same sentence:  about us making our own lives, our own worlds into gardens, and about us making other people's lives and worlds into gardens.  Both of these things, though, take love and compassion, because without those two qualities shared generously and unconditionally, life never shall be the garden that it has the potential to be, not for you and not for the people upon whose lives you have your effect.

The first thing she says, though, is that the world can become a garden "If we make our goal" to live love and compassion.  A beautiful world for us doesn't just happen--it takes effort to create it, to form it, to develop it, to push it to its extraordinary limits.  If our goal is to be loving and compassionate, then we naturally will commit loving and compassionate actions, and through those actions--as long as we expect nothing in return for them--we can make our lives extraordinary, and we can contribute extraordinary things to the lives of others.

What kind of garden do you wish your life to be?  Do you want to make your life into a lush garden with healthy flowers and plants, or do you want your garden to be dry and barren and full of weeds?  Well, just like a garden, you control the results of your life through what you put into it.  A garden that is treated with love and given all it needs to thrive shall thrive, whereas a garden that is neglected or treated wrongly or poorly shall not thrive.

The question is, what are you giving to your life?  Plenty of water and TLC, or just the bare minimum to allow it to survive, but not thrive?  If that's the case, then perhaps a shift to giving more love and compassion to yourself and others is in order.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why is it important to share the love and compassion that's within us with others?

What can you do today to make the garden of your life flourish?

How often do you share--actively share--your compassion and unconditional love with others?

* * * * *

For further thought:

We're all assigned a piece of garden, a corner of the universe
that is ours to transform.  Our corner of the universe is our own
life--our relationships, our homes, our work, our current
circumstances--exactly as they are.  Every situation we find
ourselves in is an opportunity, perfectly planned by
the Holy Spirit, to teach love instead of fear.

Marianne Williamson




More on life as a garden.

October 29--Present Blessings

Reflect on your present blessings, of which every person has many,
not on your past misfortunes, of which all people have some.

Charles Dickens

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

How many blessings do I have in my life right at this moment?  Oh, my goodness--if I really were to sit down for five minutes and make a list of the people and things and situations in my life that are positive, those blessings would far outweigh my past misfortunes, and they also would outweigh the current negative things, of which there are relatively few to speak of.

Charles gives us some really good advice here.  If we spend our time thinking of misfortunes already past, then our minds are occupied in the present moment with negative thoughts and ideas, and just how can that possibly help us to live in a positive way in the here and now?  We always have a choice as to what we focus on in our minds, and if we choose to keep our minds on negative things from the past, no matter how justified we feel in doing so, we're still keeping our minds focused on the negative.  And what good does that do?

One of the reasons for which I prefer to stay focused on my present blessings is that I've found from experience that the more I stay focused on blessings, the more blessings come my way in the future.  It's like by focusing on the positive, I'm opening a door that lets in more positive; conversely, when I focus on the negative, I'm opening a door for the negative and more negative things push their way into my life.

We've all faced misfortune.  Some of us keep ourselves miserable by continuing to focus on those misfortunes, and not allowing ourselves to open up to the positive.  Others of us, though, allow those misfortunes to lie in the past, where they belong, and we focus on the blessings that we have.  The ability to make the most of our here and now lies in our decisions concerning where we keep our own focus.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why is it so easy for so many people to stay focused on past misfortune?  What good does it do them?

How many blessings do you have in your life right now? 

How might we go about keeping our minds on our blessings?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing
you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is
not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing
which keeps you from hope and love?

Leo Buscaglia





more thoughts and ideas on letting go

October 28--Efforts for Peace

The world will never have lasting peace so long as people reserve
for war the finest human qualities.  Peace, no less than war, requires
idealism and self-sacrifice and a righteous and dynamic faith. 

John Foster Dulles

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

We do spend a lot of money on war.  We spend a lot of time and effort and money and energy on creating things that will harm our fellow human beings because we're afraid that if we don't do so, we'll be vulnerable to attack and conquest, that we'll lose our chosen way of life and be forced to live the ways that other people want to force us to live.  What would happen, I wonder, if we were to spend just as much money and time and effort pursuing peace? 

What would happen if our peace budget were as much as our defense budget?  What could we accomplish in this world as individuals if we were to focus on creating peace in our own lives, and in our own relationships, as much as we focus on making money and doing things that we think others want us to do?  The finest human qualities to which John refers, I believe, are things like dedication, perseverance, focus on accomplishment, hard work, courage, and sacrifice.  Do we put these things into practice each day in our relationships and into our communities?

There's something about hardship that seems to stimulate our survival instincts.  And once those are stimulated, we seem to be able to reach inside and tap into reserves of qualities that are among the best we have.  It's unfortunate that we so often wait until adversity strikes to reach inside and find those strengths--for they're strengths that could contribute much to the spread of things like peace and community and compassion if we were to apply them to those things.

I can imagine some of the qualities that I might find inside myself in times of great turmoil and struggle.  The trick is to tap into them during other times so that I might use them in ways that will contribute positive things to this world of ours while I'm here.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why do so many people not tap into their finest qualities every day in order to work towards lasting peace?

What does "lasting peace" mean to you?  Is it just a pipe dream, or is it a possibility?

Who is responsible for lasting peace in our world?  Is it just the leaders, or are more of us actually responsible for contributing to it?

* * * * *

For further thought:

The real and lasting victories are those of peace, and not of war.

Ralph Waldo Emerson




more thoughts and ideas on peace

more on war

October 27--Your Heart Knows

The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is
a person's conscience.

Harper Lee

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Sometimes I think that Harper's words here should read "The one thing that shouldn't abide. . ."  In our world we all see people doing things that they know they shouldn't do just to be cool, or just to be accepted, or just because others expect to do something.  When we deal with our internal conflicts with our consciences, there's often a good chance that we will rationalize the decision that makes things the easiest for us or the one that's going to get us accolades and/or acceptance.  And here's the scary part--we often allow ourselves to justify what we've done by adjusting our consciences to make the action okay.

Do we have the ability to adjust our conscience?  Can we truly convince ourselves that something wrong is actually right, and not feel the least twinge of remorse for doing that thing or for not feeling wrong about it?  Sometimes, I believe we do--but I also know that not everyone is willing to do so.  Most people aren't even willing to try to do so.

Why is it so difficult to listen to our consciences, though?  Why do we not want to acknowledge what it's telling us to be true or wrong or right?  It really does seem to be that pressure from others that makes things difficult for us, be they friends or colleagues.  But no matter what pressures we face, the final decision about whether to follow our conscience or not rests with us; and the final decision about whether to accept what it tells us lies with us, also. 

Our conscience should not abide by majority rule.  Many people squelch the important voice inside themselves by telling themselves that everyone else thinks a certain way, so why should I think any different?  But the question is not whether you're thinking differently or not, but whether you're following what you know in your heart and soul to be true.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

What are some of the pressures that weigh against us following our consciences?

Why is it so easy sometimes to just go with the flow and do what everyone else is doing, whether we agree with it or not?

How might you be sure that you keep yourself open to the messages that your conscience is sending you?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Conscience, as a mentor, the guide and compass of every
act, leads ever to happiness.  When the individual can
stay alone with his or her conscience and get its approval,
without knowing force or specious knowledge, then he
or she begins to know what real happiness is.

William G. Jordan




more thoughts and ideas on conscience

October 26--The Power of Your Smile

Life is not made up of great sacrifices and duties but of little
things in which smiles and kindness given habitually are what
win and preserve the heart and secure comfort.

Humphrey Davy

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Yesterday I was walking through the elementary school wing of our building and I saw a little girl about five years old walking towards me.  She was wearing shoes that had lights in them, and she looked incredibly friendly.  Our eyes met and we smiled at each other.  "Your shoes are really cool," I said, and her smile grew even bigger and she positively beamed.  Her smile made my day much, much brighter, and it's something that sticks in my mind and brightens each moment that I think of it.

Many years ago, on a cold and dreary winter morning in Salamanca, the same thing happened to me.  A little girl on the street, holding her mother's hand--our eyes met, and we shared a smile that has stuck with me for three decades.  That smile is still with me, while so many other things that I thought might have been very important to me have fallen by the wayside, and are no longer in my mind.  In my life I remember more the smiles and the hugs and the words of encouragement that I've been blessed to give to and receive from others than I remember the jobs or the tasks or even many of the "accomplishments" that I've achieved.

That's why I fully believe in Humphrey's words.  The things that have touched my heart are the things that stay with me and that keep me constantly remembering how positive life can be, how powerful a simple smile can prove.  I've shared such smiles with adults, too, but more rarely--children seem to have a greater ability to include their hearts in their smiles.

I've had very big successes in life, but to be completely honest, if I were to choose which memory I would like to have foremost in my mind all the time, I would choose one of these smiles from people that I don't even know than I would a graduation or an award.  I would choose my wife's smile at our wedding over the wedding itself, and I would choose times spent sharing silence with loved ones over any times spent in cheering crowds.  Life is filled with simple, deep moments, and if we can truly appreciate the depth and beauty of those moments, much of the rest of life becomes much more positive.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why do we tend to undervalue the simple kindnesses that others show us?

What to you is the best part of a shared smile or a simple kindness?

Do you search out opportunities to share smiles and simple kindnesses of your own?

* * * * *

For further thought:

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity.
They are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along
life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.

Joseph Addison




More on smiles.  -  More on kindness.

October 25--Give Thinking a Try

Few people think more than two or three times a year.
I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking
once or twice a week.

George Bernard Shaw

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

While I recognize that George's tongue must have been firmly in his cheek when he said this, he's not at all far from the truth with this comment.  True thinking is, indeed, rare--rather than think on our own, we tend to react with our thoughts; rather than ponder concepts and ideas carefully, we tend to skim over them with our first reactions and not take our time and think our ways to the core of the matters at hand.

Most of the work that I do, I can do quite easily without tons of effort--and I do it that way.  Most of my relationships I can maintain with a minimum of effort--and I do so, because I can and because other things take up my time and my thoughts.  Most things that I need to think about deeply, I think about superficially, mostly because I don't feel that I have the time to consider something on its own when there are so many other things that need my attention, also.

But our best inventors, our best scientists, our best architects are all people who are able to give their undivided attention to something and stick with it.  They're willing to take the time out of their days and make the efforts to think deeply about one thing for long stretches of time.  I sometimes feel that way when I'm writing, especially novels--they force me to put my mind on the topic at hand and think it through more deeply than I'm used to, and that really is a good feeling when it happens.  Yes, I do neglect other things at those times, but that neglect isn't anything terrible--I just get to other things a bit later.

If we want to really think--to really exercise our minds and our ability to ponder--then we need to make time for it and we need to make the effort clearly and fully.  True thought isn't the multitude of thoughts that race through our minds each day as we go about our business and shift from thought to thought all day long.  True thought is keeping our attention on one thing and considering it from different angles and perspectives, and true thought is something that can enrich us greatly and add a beautiful dimension to our lives.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How would you define truly thinking?  How often do you participate in that activity?

Why do we tend to get caught up in our racing thoughts, unable to slow them down or control them?

What are some ways that you can practice thinking at a different level than you think now?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Five percent of the people think;
ten percent of the people think they think;
and the other eighty-five percent would rather die than think.

Thomas A. Edison

October 24--Don't Skimp on the Praise

Creativity is so delicate a flower that praise tends to make it bloom, while
discouragement often nips it in the bud.  Any of us will put out more and better
ideas if our efforts are appreciated.

Alex F. Osborn

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

While Alex's words are very true, they can't help us much if we're waiting for others to praise our creativity.  If we wait for someone else to compliment us or encourage us, we could end up waiting a very, very long time and becoming very discouraged.  That's why when I look at words like these, I think about the other people in my life and the positive effects that I can have on them.

Sometimes I find it especially difficult to be encouraging about creativity because I simply don't like something creative that someone else has done.  It may be aesthetically unpleasing to me, it may offend me, it may make be feel nauseous--whatever the reason, there are simply some creative things that I don't like, just as I don't like sushi or coconut or any number of foods.  In that case, though, it's important that I put my likes and dislikes aside and try to focus on the fact that someone has spent time and effort creating something, and I now have the choice between encouraging or discouraging.  After all, just because I don't like something doesn't mean that it isn't good.  As long as I'm aware of the choice, it becomes much, much easier.

The up side to me being encouraging is that my encouragement may contribute directly to there being more creative material in this world of ours.  Any time that someone reaches inside and takes the risk necessary to create, the world becomes richer and there is more potential in it, simply as a result of the creative work of individuals.  And I can be a part of that when I give kind words of praise for someone's creative efforts.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How do we tend to respond when we don't like something, even if we recognize the creativity and talent behind it?

Why is praise so important for so many of us?

What kinds of praise do you most like to hear?  Do you give that same kind of praise to others?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the

world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise
or encouragement-- and we will make the goal.

Jerome P. Fleishman




More on encouragement.

More on praise

October 23--Almost Nothing Stays Unknown

Live as if everything you do will eventually be known.

Hugh Prather

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

I long ago gave up on the idea that I can do anything that won't be found out.  No matter what my motivation for doing what I do, I've learned that pretty much everything that I do eventually becomes known by someone, and therefore it's important that I do only those things that I'm fine with other people knowing--especially where other people are concerned.  There really are no secrets, after all.

But what I like about Hugh's words is the fact that he's not talking about living this way just to preserve your good name or to stay out of trouble.  What he's giving is advice that will help us to consistently make decisions that are healthy and worthwhile, decisions that will make us good people and that won't allow us to do things that are destructive or harmful.  If I constantly make decisions based on the assumption that others will know what I've done, I don't have to do so just to preserve my good name in their eyes; rather, I do so because I want to lead a good life.

Sometimes it's very hard to see which decision would be best, especially if one might benefit us in ways that are possibly unethical or that present a double standard.  I would take Hugh's words even further to say "eventually be known to a very young person who trusts you completely to do what's right."  In that case, my decisions will be much, much easier to make.

I don't think we even have to live "as if," for the truth is that all that we do is known by us.  And while I don't recommend being harsh judges of ourselves, I do think it's important that we have some kinds of standards that we can live by, and that we can apply to our lives so that our decisions are easier, better, and more able to stand the tests of time and scrutiny.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How often do you think about others finding out about things that you've done?  Does that often help you?

What's the difference between fearing the judgment of others and wanting others to recognize the good in you?

What does it mean to you to think that everything you do eventually will be known by others?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Peace of mind just can't be bought.  Trust me:  Even if your conscience
doesn't stop you from playing dirty to get what you want, once you get
it, it will keep you from enjoying it.

Patti LaBelle




more on decision-making

October 22--Talents and Goals

Emptiness is a symptom that you are not living creatively.  You either have no goal
that is important enough to you, or you are not using your talents and efforts
in striving toward an important goal.

Maxwell Maltz

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Whether or not we're working towards something that's important to us always is a question of choice.  It may be that our jobs don't allow us a lot of opportunity to be creative and daring, but we don't live our whole lives at our jobs.  Life is about giving and sharing, after all, and it's important that we find every opportunity that we can to do so, or else we will feel that sense of emptiness that Maxwell is talking about.

Some of the happiest people I've ever known have been those who have set up a shop or a crafts room where they can pursue things that interest them, things that they can share with others.  In this way, they're able to use their talents on something productive, something that calls to them most days and says, "Come make use of those great talents that you have!"  I read an article once about a woman who started propagating and growing flowers and houseplants for shut-ins, and just this new hobby of hers pulled her back from depression and despair and gave her something to look forward to in life.

Perhaps you don't have a goal like that college degree that could help you get a promotion, or a certain sales figure, or a certain amount of money in savings by a certain time.  Perhaps instead you'd like to meet a certain number of people in the next few months, or finish that short story or poem or novel by a certain date.  If this is the case, then make concrete goals out of these things, and pursue them as important, vital goals.

We spend far too much time looking outside of ourselves for reasons to thrive.  Such a strategy really doesn't do much for us--we each have our own unique gifts and talents, and it's when we actually put them to use that we're able to benefit from them with a happier and more fulfilling life.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why do so many people neglect to make goals or work with their own special gifts?

What are some of your unique gifts?  How might you put them to use to add a dynamic aspect to your life?

What's one important goal that you haven't made yet because you're afraid you won't be able to reach it?

* * * * *

For further thought:

If you observe really happy people you will find them
building a boat, writing a symphony, educating their children,
growing double dahlias in their gardens, or looking for
dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. They will not be searching
for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled
under the radiator. They will not be striving for it as a goal
in itself. They will have become aware that they are happy
in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours of the day.

W. Beran Wolfe




more on goals

October 21--Balanced by Sadness

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the
year's course.  Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and
the word "happy" would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

Carl Jung

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

This concept is one of Jung's most important contributions to my life.  Other people have said the same thing, of course, but long ago when I first read this idea by Jung, I suddenly didn't feel so alone in my down times; I suddenly realized that everyone was going through their own dark times; I realized that there really can't be life without the darkness, and the darkness was no longer as painful to me.  This was during a time when I was going through some rather severe bouts of depression, and Jung's idea did help me to keep in mind that what I was going through was a part of life, and that this, too, would pass.

We learn from darkness just as we learn from light.  We gain new insights, new ideas, new perspectives from going through difficult times, and if our lives were devoid of them, then we never would be able to help other people through their difficult times.  No, we don't search out sadness and depression on purpose so that we can learn from them, but when they do visit us, we can get through them more easily with a healthy perspective, one that tells us that life still goes on in spite of the darkness, and that tomorrow's sun will rise just as it did today and yesterday.

I know people who would consider Jung's words to be pessimistic, who would say things like "why focus on the negative when there's so much positive?"  But there's a difference between negativity and realism, and sadness is simply a natural part of the human experience--when we keep in mind that it is natural and temporal, then we can work our way through it much more easily, and while the pain may not lessen, it should be less destructive.

You will have your nights.  I will have my nights.  And life will go on, and this, too, shall pass.  It's comforting to me to recognize that fact and hold it close to my heart.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How can thinking about the dark parts of life help us to get through our bad times?

Would our times of happiness and cheerfulness be as uplifting if they weren't balanced out by times that are difficult?

What are some of the long-term benefits of having gone through difficult sad times in our lives?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Sadness is related to the opening of your heart.
If you allow yourself to feel sad, especially if you can cry,
you will find that your heart opens wider
and you can feel more love and more joy.

Shakti Gawain




More on sadness.

October 20--Listening to Those Who Don't Speak Much

The older I grow, the more I listen
to people who don't talk much.

Germain G. Glidden

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Some people think that people who don't talk much don't have much worthwhile to say.  Sometimes, I'm sure, this is the case.  In my experience, though, I've found that the people who talk a great deal tend to have the least to say, while those who talk less also know the value of silence because they're truly listening to others who are speaking.

I've been disappointed as I've grown older to find that many people aren't interested in learning more as they grow older.  Many people actually stop listening to others because they're so attached to their own beliefs as to what is right and wrong that they aren't willing to learn from others about many of the important things that still remain to be learned.  My personal goal is to continue learning until the day I die, because I never know when I'm going to learn more things that make me happy and allow me to enjoy life more.

The people who speak less, it seems, often are the people who speak only when it seems important to do so.  They don't speak just to hear themselves speak, but to relate something important to others.  And because they speak less than others, they are able to spend time listening and thinking about what they hear rather than just trying to come up with something else to say.

I think an apt analogy is the difference between sap and syrup.  A person who talks a lot is like sap--you can get tons of it from a tree, but it has little value and no flavor.  And it can take more than 40 gallons of sap to produce one gallon of syrup, which has been distilled and processed to become something wonderful.  People who talk little are those who have listened to those who talk much and have taken just the good stuff to give us some very valuable syrup.

There are people who talk a lot who have some great things to say, of course.  But I'll follow Germain's advice here and pay closer attention when I hear the words of someone who doesn't speak an awful lot, for in the fewer words I believe I'll find the greater treasure.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How often do you spend time listening closely to people who talk little?

Why do so many people who talk little have such great things to say?

Why do so many people who talk a lot have so few good things to say?

* * * * *

For further thought:

There is a silence that matches our best possibilities
when we have learned to listen to others.  We can
master the art of being quiet in order to be able to
hear clearly what others are saying. . . . We need to
cut off the garbled static of our own preoccupations
to give to people who want our quiet attention.

Eugene Kennedy




More on listening.

October 19--Creating the Tapestry of Our Lives

Look at your life as a beautiful fabric woven from wonderful rich colours and
fine cloth.  Make a plan, one that is full of obtainable goals for a happy life.  Read
through the plan daily so that it becomes a permanent part of your thought process.

Sara Henderson

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

For some reason, most of us go through life without ever really having any sort of plan at all.  We have no plans in place for advancing in our careers, no plan in place for improving our relationships (or even maintaining them), no plan in place for reaching goals that are important to us.  But when it comes to a vacation or a party or a dinner, we'll plan out every minute detail, and we'll be greatly satisfied when our plans come to a successful result.

There are many, many things that we can plan that don't involve other people.  We can plan to read a certain number of books on a topic that's related to our careers by a certain date.  We can plan to do something kind for someone, somewhere, each day of the week.  We can create a plan that should lead to a promotion, based on quantifiable criteria.  We can plan ways to make sure that we have money in the bank for times when we need it.

The fabric of our lives is created thread by thread, but most of us use whatever thread happens to be lying around, without really thinking of ways to find brighter, more colorful, more durable threads.  When we make our plans an integral part of who we are, then we'll be finding and using threads that will give us those rich, wonderful colors that will make our lives something beautiful to regard from any perspective.

Doing so does take a plan, though, and it takes a lot of effort to stick to our plans.  We can be sure, though, that the best fabric comes from the best materials, and we go about creating those materials each day of our lives.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

What kind of fabric are you  creating--rich with deep and vibrant colors, or just another generic fabric that doesn't take much effort?

How can you create a plan that will help you to make of your life a very rich and deep fabric?

What's the difference between people who take whatever threads happen to be lying around and those who make sure that they create rich and colorful threads for their fabric?

* * * * *

For further thought:

The tapestry of life continues to be woven.  Occasionally a
chance arises to repair an older, tattered piece of the weave.
Something happens to jolt our awareness back in time to an
event that resulted in tears and rips.  With new, more mature
vision, we see the circumstances in present time and have
compassion for the unclear events of the past.  While the new
experience is being woven into the design, the old rip is
simultaneously being repaired.  All is well.

Bessie Senette




more thoughts and ideas on the tapestry of life

October 18--Powerful Beliefs

Believe you can, and you can.  Belief is one of the most powerful
of all problem dissolvers.  When you believe that a difficulty can be
overcome, you are more than halfway to victory over it already.

Norman Vincent Peale

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

I've spent much of my life believing that things couldn't be changed, that things are the way they are and the there are simply unavoidable problems and obstacles that come up in life and slam us to the ground, forcing us to do little more than try to deal with the problems--but certainly not thrive and do well.

It took me a very long time to learn that my beliefs helped to cause this sort of thing to happen.  I believed something negative would happen, and therefore it did:  a simple cause-and-effect relationship that nobody had ever taught me anything about.  And because they would happen, they would reinforce my beliefs, which would then lead to. . . well, you know.

There's a big difference between believing in limitations and impossibilities and believing in possibilities and potential.  When we believe in the possibilities, then we approach them as if they can be accomplished, and it's that approach that allows us to actually get them done.  Many of the difficulties in our lives hang on because we believe in them and we believe in their power to harm us and to be problematic to us, whereas they could be overcome quite effectively--if perhaps not extremely simply--if we were simply to believe that we can overcome them.

One of the things that separates Olympic and professional athletes from others is the way that they believe that they can do whatever they try to do--they know it may take a lot of work to get to the point at which they can, but since they do believe, they're willing to put forth the work necessary to accomplish their goals.

Because this topic isn't one of the things that we teach in our schools or that most of our parents have passed down to us, most of us tend either not to know the power of our beliefs or not to believe just how powerful they are.  We can overcome that deficiency, though, by changing what we believe and living as if we do believe the things that will make our lives much more positive than they are when we believe the negatives.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

How have your beliefs in life originated, and how have they developed?

Why does no one teach us about the power of our beliefs?

What kinds of things might you accomplish if you truly believe that you can?

* * * * *

For further thought:

As our beliefs actually change,
so do our experiences.

Carol Sheffield




More on beliefs.

October 17--Curbing the Violence

The religion of non-violence is not meant merely for the rishis and saints.
It is meant for the common people as well.  Non-violence is the law of our
species, as violence is the law of the brute.

Mohandas Gandhi

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

We commit a violent act every time we try to put another person down, either by physical force or by words and actions.  We commit a violent act each time that we harm another living creature, whether it be person or animal.  We've been taught that violent acts are sometimes necessary, so it's very easy for us to justify our actions when we commit them ourselves.  But they're not okay, and until we actually accept that truth and live by it, then we are following the "law of the brute."  And if we choose to follow that law, what does our choice make us?

Of course, the brute him or herself will follow the law also, so there may be times when we need to defend ourselves and/or our loved ones.  Fortunately, in this day and age in most countries, such a need is relatively rare.  If we do so, though, we need to be aware that we're stepping into the brute's world, and it's important to bring ourselves back as quickly as we can.

We have been given the gifts of intelligence and rational thoughts, of community and the ability to persuade and reason.  While these gifts may sometimes fail us in our effort to be non-violent, they should be our first line of defense, and certainly our only tool in dealing with others on our own terms.  Let's use the gifts that define us as loving, caring, compassionate creatures rather than the violent urges that put us on the level of the beasts.

For the vast majority of us, the vast majority of the time, we can live our lives in non-violent fashion, sharing our love and our compassion with others in our lives.  It's a choice that we should make for our own sake and for the sake of those people with whom we share this beautiful planet we're on.  We can contribute to the peace and love in this world instead of contributing to the violence and anger--and I know what I prefer my contribution to be.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why is violence so predominant in our societies?  Why do so many people find it to be an acceptable form of conflict resolution?

How can we make sure to keep non-violence as our own personal religion?  Why might we want to?

What did Gandhi mean when he said that "violence is the law of the brute"?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the

goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all
other living beings, we are still savages.

Thomas A. Edison

October 16--Stop Thinking So Much!

Don't think!  Thinking is the enemy of creativity.  It's self-conscious, and
anything self-conscious is lousy.  You can't try to do things;
you simply must do them.

Ray Bradbury

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

Very, very often I over-think things.  My mind tends to function in a highly rational manner, and I try to analyze things very carefully and come up with logical plans for everything that I need to do.  Much more often these days, though, I'm able to fight that tendency and truly stop thinking, which usually proves to be a great thing, for it allows me to feel things more deeply and allow them to influence me rather than trying to exert my influence over them through my thoughts.

When we come from anything that's centered on ourselves, such as our thoughts, then our perspective is flawed--our ego always gets in the way and disturbs our efforts to act in a pure way that isn't simply an effort to have our will be done.  The old prayer "thy will be done" is a wonderful expression of letting go of the need to think through everything--it allows us to see what others can do and simply respond to those things without trying to make it a reflection of who we are.

It's very difficult to stop thinking sometimes.  Our ego wants to be in charge, and thought is the only method it has to trick itself into thinking that it has that type of control.  But coming from an empty mind, we can be truly creative because we're coming from a mental state of nothing, from which all true creation necessarily comes.  If we come from a state of thinking, then we'll be coming from the self, and we'll mostly be copying, not creating.

One of the most creative minds of the 20th century, Ray Bradbury should know about creativity.  And since he recently passed away, I'm going to take these words as his major piece of advice to me when I want to be creative:  Don't think!

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

What does it mean to you if someone tells you "don't think!"?

Why do we tend to value so much the logical, rational parts of our minds and the results of using them?

Why do Zen teachers so often teach that we should try to empty our minds?

* * * * *

For further thought:

If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything;
it is open to everything.  In the beginner's mind there are
many possibilities, in the expert's mind there are few.

Shunryu Suzuki-Roshi




More on creativity.
More on Zen thoughts and sayings.

October 15--Leap into the Creative

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself.  There is a microscopically
thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most
gigantic idiot on earth.  So what the hell, leap!

Cynthia Heimel

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

While I'm sure that there are limits to what Cynthia proposes, and definitely times and situations in which this would not be good advice at all, for the most part I think she's right on.  We worry so much about what other people think and say about us that we tend not to take risks at all.  In order to save face, we often pass up opportunities to make something new and different of ourselves, something that perhaps never would have come to be had we not leaped, had we not conquered our fear of looking stupid and did something that we really, really wanted to do.

Creativity is not fostered in a safe environment.  Creativity demands that we try something new and different, or else it isn't creativity at all--it's just copying other people.  I've found that some of my most creative ideas have come after I've said or done something almost ridiculous.  The act of thinking the ridiculous thought or committing the ridiculous act has taken my mind so far out of its "normal" ways of thinking that it's latched on to new ideas out there in Neverneverland.

After all, we'd never know what an octopus looks like unless someone had left the safety of land to explore the sea.  Somehow we're willing to leave our houses, which are the safe refuge of the body, but we're not willing to stray from the regular thoughts of the brain, which are the safe refuge of our minds.  What a shame this is!

Sometimes taking that step and doing something silly--or outright stupid--can open up our selves and allow us to see or feel something that we can't see or feel in our normal, everyday lives.  Perhaps it's time to allow ourselves to be silly for a change!

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why is the safe and comfortable so darned attractive to us?

When do you normally have your most creative thoughts and ideas?  Is there a pattern to when they show up?

How might we allow ourselves to do some silly things for a while, without fearing what others may say or think about us?

* * * * *

For further thought:

Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks,
breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.

Mary Lou Cook




More on creativity.

October 14--Happy in Small Ways

Human felicity is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune
that seldom happen as by little advantages that occur every day.

Benjamin Franklin

* * * * *

Today's Meditation:

"Human felicity" is such a great way of saying "happiness."  It sounds joyful as it rolls off the tongue so gracefully.  And Benjamin is so right--our happiness isn't produced nearly as much by the big things as it is by the little things, as long as we let them make us happy.  Unfortunately, though, I watch many people either ignore those little things or take them for granted, and those people never let those things contribute to their happiness as human beings because they feel that they're just too small and insignificant.  But they most certainly are not small, and they are not insignificant.

I used to think that I had to wait for something big to happen before I could be happy.  I would have to meet that certain someone or get that certain job or go to that certain place.  I can't begin to add up how much time I've wasted feeling down because the big things weren't happening, even though my life was filled with very positive things--that I never took full advantage of, to my great regret.  If my focus could have just shifted to recognition and acceptance of the little advantages that were all over the place in my life, many days could have been spent in much better moods and with much less suffering.

Since those days, I definitely have been able to shift my focus, and I'm eternally grateful for the ability to do so, for not only do I feel much better about life myself, but I'm also able to help others to recognize the many little advantages that they have themselves in their lives.  And I've learned that richness in life isn't about what we have, but more about how we look at what we have.

If we can keep our eyes on those little things, then we most definitely can keep in mind that our lives are very rich and fulfilling just as they are.  And when we realize and accept that fact, only then can we actually and truly enjoy all the gifts that we have.

* * * * *

Questions to consider:

Why do we so dearly yearn for the "great pieces of good fortune"?

What are five "little advantages" that are a part of your life today?

How might we go about recognizing more of the positive elements of our lives each day?

* * * * *

For further thought:

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions--the little
soon forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look,
a heartfelt compliment, and the countless infinitesimals
of pleasurable and genial feeling.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge




More on happiness.