September 8--Don't Hold Back Your Love

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts,
then there is no hurt, but only more love.

Mother Teresa

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Today's Meditation:

Some people think that they're able to "hold love back," and they try to do so to keep from hurting themselves.  They think that by not showing their love, they can save themselves from hurting when the person leaves or when something bad happens.  Love, though, cannot be held back.  We are creatures of love, after all, and the lives that we lead are to a great extent defined by the love that is in us and that we share with others.

When love is the dominating force in our lives, then there is no hurt in a person leaving, for we always want the best for all others and we don't attach our own well-being to the actions of others.  When we live by love, we understand that other people do what they do because of who they are and not because of who we are, and therefore there is no hurting involved.  It may be difficult to conceive of this because of the fact that so few of us are able and willing to have our lives defined by our love, and most of us still feel hurt deeply when others do things that we perceive as hurtful to us.

I have known older people who are like ducks when it comes to hurt--when the hurtful things come, they simply roll off the backs of these people, falling harmlessly to the ground, as rain does on the back of ducks.  Some things that would have devastated me have had no real harmful effect on these people--they've certainly expressed their compassion for the people who would have harmed them, but they weren't hurt themselves.  They really did live from a place of love, not of neediness or control or fear.

Can we get rid of our fear and admit that we love everyone?  Can we show that love appropriately, all day every day?  If we can, then we'll find that our lives are transformed from being one scary situation after another, with some good stuff thrown in, to being a long series of positive situations in which we learn about others and about ourselves, about how to give and about how to feel true compassion no matter what happens.  A lofty goal?  Castles in the air?  Perhaps, but the most important possibility we must consider:  perhaps not.

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Questions to consider:

Why do we feel that if we hold our love back, we'll have less chance of getting hurt?  Does that make sense, or is it just a defective defensive strategy?

How can there continue to be more love if we love all we can?

What does it mean to you to be hurt?  Is that the same meaning that everyone would give the concept?

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For further thought:

It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble;
how hopeless the outlook; how muddled the tangle; how
great the mistake.  A sufficient realization of love will
dissolve it all.  If only you could love enough you would be
the happiest and most powerful being in the world.

Emmet Fox




More on love.