Thursday, October 3, 2019

October 3--Letting Go of Non-Friends


Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition.  Small people
always do that, but the really great make you feel that you,
too, can become great.

Mark Twain

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Today's Meditation:

It's very difficult to "keep away from people."  After all, they're our species, and there is a draw to others with whom we share so much.  But sharing DNA and physical similarities really isn't enough--just as a thief can rob us of our possessions, many people can rob us of attributes such as our self-esteem and our confidence, qualities that are extremely important for getting along and moving ahead in our lives.

I used to have friends that brought me down pretty constantly.  They weren't bad people, but they weren't people who made me feel good, either.  One of the hardest things that I ever did in my life was to cut them out of my lives, and it was astonishing to realize after a week of not being with them just how good I felt about everything.  I came to realize that the things that they focused on in life were not the things I wanted to be focusing on, and the ways that they talked and the things that they said were destructive and not constructive.

We all have people in our lives who belittle us because we're all in company of people who are insecure and who really don't love themselves at all.  When people feel that way about themselves, they tend to lash out at others, making fun of them and their ambitions, treating them poorly, trying to belittle them so that they can feel better about themselves (even though they really don't).  One of the most important strategies that we can develop in our lives is to stay away from such people and search out the company of those who encourage us, compliment us sincerely, and make us feel good about ourselves.

Life is short--too short to spend it in the company of people who make us feel bad.  So find those people who make you feel good, hang around with them and do your best to make them feel good, too--and you just may find some very positive and helpful relationships developing!

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Questions to consider:

Why is it so easy to continue to hang around people who make us feel bad?

How might we start to recognize those people who make positive contributions to who and what we are?

What can we do to make sure that we're people who make others feel good, and not people who belittle their ambition?

* * * * *

For further thought:

People build closeness by giving friendship priority, by being honest and showing their feelings.  I like to call it being transparent.  They communicate warmth, touch, talk about their affection, give each other space, allow change, limit expectations, listen, and offer loyalty and trust.  They avoid trying to control or manipulate their friends.  They don't criticize and they don't become dependent.  It takes practice to be a good friend, and we all make mistakes.  Friendship, like love, is something you do, something you give that comes back to you.

Jennifer James
Success Is the Quality of Your Journey




More on friendship.






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