August 13--True, or Kind?

Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for
I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.

Robert Brault

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Today's Meditation:

Those little white lies.  Some will tell us that every single instance when we "bend" the truth is wrong, for the "truth" must always be told.  As we grow older and wiser in life, though, we learn that sometimes the truth itself can be very harmful, and that we may want to watch what we say when we're faced with an opportunity to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, or a version of the truth that may be more helpful and compassionate to others.

Sometimes it can be good to bend the truth to spare someone else's feelings.  When a child brings something that they've drawn to me and asks me if I like it, the answer's going to be "Yes, I do."  Even if I don't like it, what possible positive purpose would I be serving by telling a child the full truth?  If someone wants to start an argument with me and asks me a question, I'm fully within my rights to react to another person's negative intentions with words that may not be completely true.

When we lie for self-gain or in an attempt to deceive maliciously, then we have a problem.  The truth is a very important element in our lives, but is the full truth a non-debatable element of our integrity?  Does every single person on this planet deserve the truth from us in every instance?  And will the words I say contribute to the lives of others in positive or negative ways?  All of these are questions that must be answered when we decide exactly what we're going to tell someone else, and when and how we're going to tell it.

When I was a kid, I tried oil painting.  I loved art.  I did a painting that I was pretty proud of and I showed it to my grandmother, who proceeded to tell me everything that she saw that was wrong with it.  I quit painting immediately, and didn't take it up again until almost twenty years later.  Yes, I was pretty sensitive at that age, but I'll always wonder what she thought she was accomplishing that day.  She might have had good intentions, but the "truth" that she shared was much more damaging than helpful.

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Questions to consider:

Why do some people feel that any sort of "bent" truth is wrong?

How do you define "truth"?

In which circumstances could you see it being more kind to bend the truth than to tell the truth straight as you see it?

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For further thought:

There are no whole truths; all truths are half-truths.
It is trying to treat them as whole truths that plays the devil.

Alfred North Whitehead




more thoughts and ideas on the truth

August 12--Truth Is Truth, Pleasant or Unpleasant

Truth does not change according to our ability
to stomach it emotionally.

Flannery O’Connor

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Today's Meditation:

"Truth" is such a hard word to put into a box and view objectively.  After all, just what does it mean?  And since we all agree fundamentally that each person's truths are a matter of individual perspective, how can we possibly be able to define the term?  After all, my truth is that doughnuts taste awesome, for the most part, but I know other people whose truth is that doughnuts don't taste good at all.

Flannery, of course, is more than likely talking about objective truths.  It is true, for example, that over five million children die each year of causes related to hunger and malnutrition.  That is an objective fact.  Yet what are the truths behind that fact?  For one person, one truth may be, "That's really sad, but that's happening far away from me, in a country where I have no influence at all, so there's nothing I can do about it.  This, of course, is true also.

But my lack of influence doesn't change the fact that 10,000 children are dying daily from hunger, even though the world does produce enough food to feed everyone.  Our explanations of our own truths are simply a way to distance ourselves from the reality, and they help us to cope with what could otherwise be a completely overwhelming concept (even as I write this, the thought threatens to overwhelm me).

We all cope with the unpleasant in different ways.  But the unpleasant remains the unpleasant.  I think what Flannery is hoping that we learn from her words is the idea that we need to be aware of truths completely, and not explain them away or avoid them, for only with full awareness can we hope to create our own lives as a part of the whole of human existence.  If your friend is hurting, don't explain it away or avoid it--know it, feel it, and do what you can about it, no matter how slight your effort may seem to be.

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Questions to consider:

How many people do you know who tend to explain away truths in such a way as to take all responsibility off their own shoulders?

Why is it important that we face even those truths that we have a hard time facing?

What are some of the potential benefits of facing truths boldly and honestly?

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For further thought:

At the core of everything I write is the feeling that the denial
of the truth imprisons us even further in ourselves.  Of course,
there's no one "truth."  The great things, the insights that
happen to you, come to you in some internal way.

Paula Fox




more thoughts and ideas on truth

August 11--The Spirit in Unity

My whole attitude to life is spiritual—a feeling of identification with all nature,
all mankind, all life, the whole of the past, the whole of the future.

Fenner Brockway

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Today's Meditation:

I think that the reason for which most people shy away from confronting their own spirituality is because when they do so, they'll be forced to acknowledge their unity with all others on this planet.  And that unity frightens us, for it means that we're a part of a much larger whole and we have certain responsibilities to others if they are part of the same whole.  The independence with which our culture has filled our heads is a myth, and as spiritual beings we belong to and with others--and we can no longer deny it.

When we do acknowledge and appreciate this connection we have with others, we find life to be a much richer experience.  If I'm completely independent, then I'm beholden to no one, and I'm obligated to serve no one.  But if I identify with all around me, then I do have an obligation to give to everyone, to serve everyone, to share my gifts and talents to help others in any way that I can.  As spiritual beings, we are working on the level of eternity, without judgment and criticism--and we are not working on making life better for ourselves without caring for others.

We are a part of everything.  You and I and the next person you see and the last person you had contact with and the dog in your home and the trees in the forest--everything depends on everything else, and each of us can be fulfilled only insofar as we seek to help the world reach its potential, and stop allowing negative and harmful things to happen without at least trying to do something to stop them.

Focusing on our spiritual selves is not a method of adding new responsibilities to our lives or berating ourselves for not being more selfless.  Rather, it's a way to keep in mind just why we're here on this planet, just where we fit into eternity and the universal whole, and a way to keep ourselves from feeling the artificial--and often painful--separateness that we learn when we focus on independence rather than interdependence.

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Questions to consider:

Why do so many of our cultures value independence so highly?

When was the last time that you thought of yourself as a spiritual being here on a planet filled with other spiritual beings?

What does it mean to be connected to other people and things, and the past and the future?

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For further thought:

When we think we're separate, we lose power.  Whenever I say "my," I have lost my power.  Power is not my power; it is not enlarging oneself as a separate individual.  It is only gainable as part of a larger whole.  Then you communicate with the rest of yourself--which may be a tree.  You, reciprocally, are moved by the universe.  Whenever you shut down connectedness, you get depressed.  Psychic awareness breaks in as a gift.  It's fearful to know we're connected to everything in the universe, because then we're responsible.

Glenda Taylor

more thoughts and ideas on oneness

August 10--Silence Is Better Than Golden

Silence is something like an endangered species.  The experience of silence is now so
rare that we must guard it and treasure it.

Gunilla Norris

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Today's Meditation:

I love silence, and as I get older, I enjoy it even more.  The problem is that I love music, also, so I have to make a concerted effort to find silence in my life by turning off the music now and then.  Other times, I just take a long hike or run or bike ride to someplace where I know that there won't be any noise, and that also helps me to find the silence.

And it's always worth it.  What silence allows me to do is relax completely, to think clearly, and to slow down the pace of everything that I do.  But it hasn't always been that way.  When I was younger, I found silence to be a bit uncomfortable, for there was something threatening about it.  A silent moment was a moment missing some sort of stimulus, making me feel that I should be doing something or watching something or listening to something.

I never realized then just what I was missing by always filling the silent moments with sound.  Gunilla understands the value of silence, and that's why she tells us that we should treasure it.  Silence is the stimulus that can help us to go inside of ourselves, to find those reserves of love and hope and compassion and ability.  Silence allows us to explore our thoughts and clarify them, to ponder things that are perplexing us and to process things that we've learned recently.  Silence allows us to simply be, which is something that's very hard to do in noisy environments.

I know people who have to turn on the TV or radio as soon as they walk into a room--they can't handle the silence, for it makes them uncomfortable.  But what they don't realize is just what the silence can do for them, if they allow it to do so.  It can be one of the most soothing balms that they experience, if they let it be so.  Silence is a treasure, and it is an endangered species, especially now that we carry our phones with us.  We must seek it out, revel in it, and enjoy it whenever we can.

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Questions to consider:

When and where are your best times and places for experiencing silence?

Why do so many people feel uncomfortable with silence?

Why is silence considered to be a treasure for so many?

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For further thought:

True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit
what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.

William Penn




more thoughts and ideas on silence

August 9--Is Meaning Found or Made?

Life does not have meaning through mere existence or acquisition or fun.  The meaning
of life is inherent in the connections we make to others through honor and obligation.

Laura Schlessinger

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Today's Meditation:

It's tempting to say that we've lost touch with this truth, as our lives more and more keep us isolated from others, in our own homes and cars, making precious few connections with other human beings, forging precious few relationships and taking on fewer and fewer obligations on a personal level.  I believe Laura wrote these words because she has noticed that more and more we try to create meaning through existence, acquisition, and fun as a substitute for that which we know in our hearts is missing--those connections with other human beings.

Is it possible to go through life without finding meaning?  Of course it is.  Is it possible to live a full and satisfying life if we never serve others, if we never feel the need to do things for others and to forge the relationships that will put us in situations that will cause us to serve?  Probably not, but because of our isolation, we don't always learn the gratification inherent in serving others, and the depth of the meaning of lives when we're lightening the burdens of life for others.

Fun and acquisition are important.  But one of the symptoms of deeper problems among people in our societies of today is the feeling of disconnection, the feeling of being lost among the crowds.  This feeling is a natural result of the lack of feeling of meaning, a lack of feeling that we're accomplishing anything significant with our lives.

If we can keep in mind that it's important that we focus on creating meaning instead of simply enjoying ourselves or buying the largest TV we can afford, then we can put our lives on track to create significant meaning in our lives by serving others, by doing what we can to give hope and peace of mind to our fellow spirits who are here on this planet with us, living their lives as well as they can, dealing with the pain and the setbacks as well as they can.

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Questions to consider:

Why do we seek out getting things and having fun rather than trying to create true meaning in our lives?

What are some ways that you might create meaning in your life?

What does the word "meaning" mean to you in relation to your life?

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For further thought:

Each person must look to him- or herself to teach themselves the meaning of life.  It is not something discovered: it is something molded.
Charles-Augustin Sainte-Beuve

August 8--Improving Our Lives

It is astonishing how much more people are interested in
lengthening life than improving it.

Charles C. Colton

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Today's Meditation:

I see this a lot--people who want to be on this planet as long as possible, going to doctors to have them take care of any medical problems that might threaten their longevity, without ever really making any effort to improve their lives or the ways that they lead them.  But is life about living long?  Is adding extra years to our time here on the planet really something to aspire to?

We have to ask ourselves how we actually define life, don't we?  Is life defined by simply breathing and having our heart beating and blood flowing through our veins and arteries, or is there more to it?  We all have many ways available to us to make our lives more fulfilling and to improve the type and amount of service that we provide while we're here, but how often do we actually make the effort to take advantage of those opportunities?  Or do we simply allow the status quo to remain, since it's easier and less risky?

Charles isn't criticizing people.  He simply says it's "astonishing," not terrible or stupid or anything like that.  But he is pointing out something that could be very important to us--there is a huge difference between making our lives longer and making our lives better.  People who learn that they'll be dying soon very often make their lives amazing for the limited amount of time they have left, but others who are able to live much longer amounts of time often do nothing at all to make their lives special at all.

We fear death, so we do our best to lengthen life.  I think sometimes we should fear coming to the end of our days and having tons of regrets for all the things we didn't do to improve our lives; if we lived by that fear, then we would probably do much more to make our lives more enjoyable and fulfilling.

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Questions to consider:

What are three ways that you could improve your life in the near future?  What would it take to start working on them?

What's the difference to you between prolonging life and improving life?

Why is it so often so important to us to lengthen our number of days here on this planet?

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For further thought:

The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we
make of them; a person may live long yet live very little.

Montaigne

more thoughts and ideas on life

August 7--Caring for This Planet

We are living beyond our means.  As a people we have developed a lifestyle that
is draining the earth of its priceless and irreplaceable resources without regard
for the future of our children and people all around the world.

Margaret Mead

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Today's Meditation:

This is one of the realities that most of us don't want to face, and that almost none of us want to do anything about.  After all, it seems so hopeless--this is a global problem that has to do with billions of people, so what can I do as a single individual in one tiny spot on the planet?

As with most other things in life, I can only do what I can do.  I can use less gas by driving less and walking more and having a car that gets better mileage and by not doing things like letting it idle when I'm not in it.  I can take shorter showers and waste less water by not letting the sink run.  I can wear my clothes longer and not replace them so often.  I can not throw away food.  I can drink water from one bottle that I fill up myself instead of buying bottle after bottle of it.  I have to ask myself a very important question:  do my lifestyle decisions contribute to the draining of the resources, or do they contribute to the preservation of those resources?

Such decisions aren't always popular with loved ones or kids or other people who don't really care about preserving resources.  But popular or not, we still can serve as role models of someone who does care about the gifts we've been given on this planet, gifts that we don't want to squander for no real reason at all.  One of the more important elements of living a full life is that of taking responsibility for our actions, and to take full responsibility, we must also be fully aware of them and their effects.

In the last five decades, the people of the world have done a lot of cleaning up of formerly-polluted areas.  But we still use resources at a frightening rate.  The entire world obviously isn't within our realm of responsibility, but if our great-great- grandchildren were able to come and talk with us now, what would we tell them about what we, personally, have done to preserve this wonderful planet in as good of shape as possible for them?

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Questions to consider:

In which ways do we most tend to overuse the resources available to us?

How many different resources do you make use of each day?  Are you responsible with each of them?

What kinds of small changes might we make to start conserving at our own personal level?

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For further thought:

To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster
its renewal is our only legitimate hope of survival.

Wendell Berry




more thoughtsand ideas on the earth